I know it is dangerous and horrible to identify personally with Griffith from Berserk, but emotionally that is where I am now.

“A little while ago, not much more than a few days ago, I was a child who went about in a world of colors, of hard and tangible forms.
Everything was mysterious and something was hidden, guessing what it was was a game for me.
If you knew how terrible it is to know suddenly, as if a bolt of lightning elucidated the earth.
Now I live in a painful planet, transparent as ice; but it is as if I had learned everything at once in seconds.”
-- Frida Kahlo (1926)