"I am a wizard"
"are you on cocaine"
"no I definitely know magic"
"cast me a spell then, magic man, whaddya gonna do, turn me into a frog?"
"I cast .357 magnum hollow points"
[BANG]
"there I shapeshifted you into a cadaver, wow what an amazing trick"

this is a shitpost I came up with at the asscrack hours of the night a while back so, y'know, take exactly none of this with any form of seriousness.